This tramp (epitomized in countless burlesque chaplinesque productions, dickensian tales, oil paintings some from the artistic hands of great masters and others from anonymous exquisite painters, et cetera) remembers nothing of his birth or childhood!
My amorphous gauzy, hazy memories solely comprise a
fragmented collection of miserable memories, which
epitomize living a hellacious hand to mouth hard scrapple
Past and now present existence seems a worse fate than
death! The overpowering urge to survive la’chiam against
the depredations of the grim reaper found the daily grind
fending off real and imagined threats!
Yours truly dug deep within his bony strength to muster
every last ounce of strength he could muster!
Although cursed with a most nefarious fate as a measly
looking human varmint, this grimy, grungy, rangy, et cetera
looking being clung with all the might within his five foot
ten inch or so tall and one hundred and twenty five pound
I tapped into survival skills and summoned willpower to stay alive and bear this heavy cross of a dirty poor poverty stricken existence!
No matter a hard-core skeptic at heart, this cynic
plaintively called for divine intervention called to help
this human piece of flotsam and jetsam to cope with living
like a junkyard dog!
In essence, this ignored and shunned vagrant frequently
raged against the machine and found figurative and literal
bones to pick with demons that tormented his psyche.
While traipsing along the boulevard of broken dreams
(when September came), a torn and well-worn shoe kicked a couple of items.
One comprised colorful jagged shard that in a previous
lifetime housed some cheap fermented liquor!
Nothing but crud filled the remnant of what looked like
a booze guzzling hounds favorite drink!
This solitary sojourner never felt drawn to drown out
my sorrows by turning to the bottle, cigarettes nor drugs
(a respect for thyself existed), an automatic reflex
grabbed this eye-catching drunkard’s lost memento and the
This other entity (as iterated) constituted a dullish
metallic object, which turned out to be a heavily damaged
Out of some foolish embarrassed instinct, I cradled then
rubbed this remnant once containing some amber liquid of
In mockery against the cosmic consciousness, my mouth
began jabbering away into the mobile phone!
No sooner did these chafed, coursed and cracked fingers
slide across the unbroken surface of said bottle in tandem
with parched lips uttering some plea, a crackle, snap and
pop delivered a lifelike goddess!
The mp3 player began issuing syncopated beats indicative
per some previous owner favorite play list tune on the
former owner of this electronic contraption!
This vision and auditory music most definitely brought a
sobered punch! I clapped these nearly deaf ears and thence
rubbed mein kempf gnarled hands across myopic eyes!
A maiden suddenly appeared in plain view, which
disbelief found me pretending to use said cell phone and
speak in a matter of fact tone of voice!
She (in a lilting, melodic and sing song tone) responded
with casualness as like a genie appears (Aladdin like)
General conversation ensued (albeit fraught with a bit
of apprehension and self consciousness) before the purpose
of her presence became made clear.
Immediate difficulty arose to think of even one wish to
abet grievous humiliation and immersion in misery!
Rather than blurt out the immediate favorite offering
for untold riches, I surprised myself and communicated a
desire for female friendship. A gamesome gal who would
surrender herself for cries and whispers seemed more
important than any pile of wealth!
Awareness and self-actualization about my utter
decrepitude appeared as immediate deterrent toward
attaining a bona fide sincere relationship!
This ordinary and reasonable ambition appeared as a
Self absorbed in this rambling, jangling and longing of
the body, mind and heart, I quickly became oblivious to
this imaged or real corporeal presence, who spurred such an
outpouring from this ostracized and unwanted vermin!
Eyes remained closed while loosening the tongue in an
effort to picture the escape from pernicious malady and
crushing blow of an abominable existence!
Lips shut tight also prevented the woebegone loss of
what appeared as some divine trickster who conjured such a
muse out of thin air!
Upon winding down this unrehearsed recitation, a
painstaking effort got made to open the eyelids very
Lo and behold when this nattering noodle
manifestation in the actual guise of a gorgeous gal stood
still as a statue, and remained rapt with attention!
Provenance and providence found pleasure in my prattle!
A promise got uttered to remain as my permanent lass to
many who considered this writer nothing but a wretched
pestilence of the earth!
Those comedy of errors leered at this kingpin of words
that punctuated one anonymous life with angst riddled
tragedy suddenly took a most pleasant unexpected turn and
found that all’s well that ends well!
My virgin innocence, naiveté, and nonchalant cruise
across the byways, country roads, and superhighways of this
awesome yet tangled World Wide Web now found me
sequestered within seventh heaven!
This frenzied, mad as hatter horny Caucasian hue colored
man, now found himself pleasantly ensconced with a sexually
excited woman who playfully grabbed, man-handled and pinned
down this artfully flirtatious fellow!
Thine force-fed (without but a feeble protest) feasts of
feverish foreplay found flaccid flesh to become primed for
penultimate probing in the primary female plantation in the
tropic of cancer!
Not only did this merry widow and wife of Windows 98
subject this gentle guy to pleasant and uninterrupted
interludes of genital and orgiastic ecstasy (devoid of
prophylactics for greater intensity of coital experiences),
but each and every countless caress upon thy body politik per said gorgeous gal begged to be fondled ushering (from the chamber of pheromone secretes) that longed for infernal inferno of erotic exploits (to be appeased) that dwelled in this over active imagination.
No sooner did my lips mouth the pent up testosterone full laden bin to be unloaded from this principled pal then the Manichean forces rivaled between vice and virtue and contested each other to the death!
Temptation (in the actual corporeal form of this hot and
sexy sizzling dame (with forked tongues thrusting within
inserting distance) offered a long awaited opportunity to
complacently and willingly succumb to that most natural and
unbridled narcissistic urge to fornicate (from morning,noon until night)and relish the bacchanalian, orgiastic frenzy!
Needless to say, the long overdue hiatus and respite
from an undeserved penile punishment of celibacy became a welcome relief, which hopefully (and adequately) explains the contents of this assay in ardor sans erotic essay that did foray and figuratively sashay into a fantasy felicitous fable!